Tonight my husband cooked dinner. He made one of his go-to quick week night dishes: Stir Fry. Last night, after dinner, when we were talking about what to have for dinner, he found several packages of tofu and decided we had better use some of it up. He prepared a quick marinade and let it sit over night.
This afternoon when we all arrived home, he put the tofu in the oven while he chopped up some carrots, peppers and onions. Next he fries the veggies, with the tofu and noodles in our electric frying pan.
Normally the starch is rice, and so we call this dish “Rainbow Rice”. Today he used the noodles, we still call it Rainbow Rice, but the name is admittedly less appropriate.
One of my sons loves this dish, the other not so much, so I asked him to help us set the table to round out the menu. I gave him a choice of fruits to add to the table, he choose frozen mango. I also asked him if he wanted anything else and he requested bread with peanut butter – Done.
The Dinner Table
My goal for family dinner
One of my main goals for our family meal is to sit down with my family for 5-10 minutes (maybe more if the stars align!) and enjoy a conversation. I want to create this time and space for my kids and family to connect. I want to ask my kids about their day and I want them to hear about my day.
In order to do this – I need to be able to sit down with them. To do this, I need to not have to get up. Which, if you are the mother of young kids, you know how challenging this is.
The seating arrangement
I drew a little diagram of our kitchen/dining area to show you where Chris and I sit. Initially, I sat where Chris sits and Chris sat tucked in behind the table. The problem was that I was so much more likely to jump up and grab something if the boys asked than Chris is. It felt like we were never all sitting down at the same time.
So we switched! And now I sit tucked in behind the table, which makes it harder for me to get up. This has helped me be an active participant in my goal of sitting down for a few minutes each day with my family at the dinner table.
Bringing foods to the table
Another thing I do to try to stay seated at the dinner table is to try to get all the foods on the table before we begin (which based on the picture missing the asparagus the other day you can see that we aren’t perfect at!) – but we try.
If I know that the main dish is less likely to be a hit with my kids I try to get them to help me plan and set the table with the side dishes. My goal is to get some quick and easy side dishes that can easily round out the meal. By round out the meal, I am thinking of the parts of the healthy plate (which my kids plate doesn’t look anything like!) but its still in the back of my mind as the goal.
Here are a few things I might offer:
| Food Group | Ideas My Kids Like |
|---|---|
| Fruits and Vegetables | Frozen mango, apple sauce, canned mandarins, fresh fruit of any kind, raw chopped vegetables |
| Grains | Bread, rice cakes, crackers, muffins |
| Protein/Dairy Products | Peanut butter, nuts, yogurt, milk, cheese |
The importance of getting my kids to pick the side dishes
With meals that are less likely to be a hit the last thing I want to hear once we finally sit down is that there is nothing my kid wants to eat and can he have something else. If this happens I feel like having an adult temper tantrum and screaming “No! No! No!”
So to avoid an adult tantrum where all four of us end up crying, I try to ensure there will be something on the table that my kid likes that I feel comfortable with them eating.
My kids are getting to be a bit older and can help me pick the side dishes with a bit of support. Specifically, I will say: “Would you like to put some apples or frozen mango on the table to go with dinner tonight?”
Framing it like this allows my kid to make a decision but its a decision that I like regardless of what he chooses. It also helps keep the balance of power around what is served in my court. As the parent I get to choose what’s served. Providing older kids a chance to make decisions like this helps them get involved in taking over that responsibility in a supported way. My super smart parenting friend uses the term scaffolding explain this type of parent-supported decision making.
What did they eat?
Both boys were interested in the mango, bread and spoonfuls of peanut butter. No surprise! My older son, a known lover of “Rainbow Rice” – also wanted a scoop of this.
Both boys licked their peanut butter spoons clean, ate all the mango on the table, and had a slice of bread. My older son also ate his Rainbow Rice. My younger son didn’t try it and didn’t have any tonight.
So what?
If your goal is to spend 5-10 (or more!) minutes sitting down with your family, do you best to lead by example and get everything on the table so that you can sit down too!
I feel like the cooking term for this is mis en place – get everything in its place. Set the table with a variety of foods you feel good about offering and if your kids are a bit bigger get them to help.
Offer kids a choice of foods to bring – such as apples or mangos or yogurt or glasses of milk. Just make sure it doesn’t matter to you which choice they make.
From there – try to pick a seat that is harder to get up from, sit down and enjoy!
Do you struggle to stay seated at the table? What things have you tried to keep yourself from needing to get up to cater to everyone’s requests around you? If you have any great tips – pass them along by leaving a comment or sending me an email at contact@kellypicard.com
Thanks for reading!
