My Sunday meal plan this week was clutch to helping us get through our first week back at work. I have to admit that not every night went smoothly…
In particular, my younger son had been really digging those afternoon ice-cream stops, found getting back to a more formal dinner challenging.
Wednesday’s hiccup
Wednesday for dinner the menu plan called for Bulgogi Beef. I served it with rice, sliced cucumbers, green onions, some homemade walnut bread (courtesy of mom) and the left-overs from the boys lunches. The only thing left from the lunches were slices of oranges.
Shortly after coming to the table, my son said that there was nothing on the table that he wanted to have. We held out and told him there was lots on the table to choose from and he could choose to eat it or not.
He ate his orange slices, visited for about 20 minutes and then asked to be excused from the table.
Just as we were doing the dishes….
My son comes back into the kitchen, crying, saying that he is hungry and wanted something to eat. Sound effects would be good here – “Sigh!”. Like man kid, we just finished dinner and you said you didn’t want to eat anything.
What my text says we should have done
So – from the mother who has read the textbooks and knows that my job is to decide when and what and my kids job is to decide if and how much… Child crying immediately after dinner due to hunger poses a few challenges.
If my job is to decide WHEN – then clearly AFTER dinner isn’t the correct time. I should reassure him that breakfast is only 14 short hours away.
If my job is to decide WHAT – then he clearly should have eaten what was offered. I should reassure him that breakfast is a whole new meal with a brand new menu.
BUT, here’s the problem…. my little boy was crying with hunger. Probably not going to die anytime soon kind of hunger but some level of hunger none the less.
What we did
My husband decided to sit with him. He was offered anything still left out from dinner. My son opted to have some walnut bread. Then my husband went to help our older son, so I asked my younger son to sit with me.
When he told me he was still hungry, I offered him the left-over blueberry pancakes. I microwaved and put syrup on them.
He ate those pancakes and our night carried on.
The fallout
Later that night after the kids were in bed, my husband said he felt frustrated with the way dinner went. He was also upset with me for offering the pancakes with syrup. Isn’t this exactly NOT the right thing to do?????
Gah – he is right! We totally broke the rules for parents. We let him eat AFTER dinner and I offered him foods that were not offered at dinner.
But as I sit here typing and reflecting on this, I really don’t think I could honestly say that I would do it differently if I could go back.
My mom rationale for offering the pancakes
The rationale for offering the pancakes was this:
- My son is out of the habit of defined meal times
- Breakfast is a long ways away
- The pancakes were sitting on the counter. There was no plan for them.
- I could have been more thoughtful in bringing foods to the table to ensure there was more on offer that I know he likes
What I did differently for the rest of the week
Well, I guess that really only includes Thursday, since yesterday was Friday and we went out for ice cream (#summerloving) so he wasn’t really that hungry for dinner anyways.
But Thursday night, I changed up our meal plan. Instead of having corn on the cobs for our starch, I served buttered noodles. The chicken and salad components of the meal stayed the same. I also offered the boys milk with dinner, which they accepted.
Take Aways
Welp, not ever dinner with kids is going to be easy. And when it isn’t an easy one, it can create stress and friction between the adults in the relationship trying to figure out the best approach on how to handle it. And while my dietitian-y textbooks tell me that what I did wasn’t quite right, my mom-heart/brain thinks we did OK.
So here’s to all those caregivers out there today who need a little compassion. I am sending out the just get through this meal vibe and let tomorrow be a new day. We got this!
